Kapyong Goes Boom !


A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away ...


I made some online friends on a forum web-site, and I formed a very close friendship with a new friend I'll call C3PO - in fact it was like a mental love-affair to me - we exchanged lengthy personal emails daily in a giddy whirlwind of shared ideas and experiences. A truly wonderful highlight of my life. She had such passion and intensity and humanity. I was very happy.

Meanwhile, we had some issues with racism and bigotry and favouritism at the old forum.



C3PO decided to start a new forum - let's call it ForumXYZ, and put her time and effort and money into it, involving several of us as members and even moderators. I was made a moderator and granted 1% ownership of the forum. We had a few mods, and a smart tech guy I'll call B, and a growing number of friendly members. My discussions with C3PO about ForumXYZ involved the key issues of Truth, Justice and Equality - our founding policy.

I was thrilled and excited by this, and I spent a lot of time posting and helping and suggesting etc.

I suggested a small number of sub-forums, but we got a large number. I suggested rank titles, but they weren't accepted. I responded to a request to a motto with many suggestions, but none were accepted. I made suggestions for rules, but they were not accepted. Several of us wanted Rules separate to T.O.S., but that idea was rejected. We wanted the Rules to be obvious, but they stayed in an obscure place. I argued strongly against a particular T.O.S. word, but that was rejected.


Dailies Disaster

There was much input and discussion about how to do daily threads - whether a 'Good Morning', or 'What did you do today?' e.g. But C3PO wanted it a certain way because of web-site click-throughs or something. One of the mods later criticised this idea - in response C3PO publically chewed her out with a half page rant (including the F word) that amounted to :

I'm the boss, I expect you minions to do what you are F***ing told !

That founding mod was shocked, and withdrew to being just a member, her 1% share apparently disappeared. I tried to smooth things over and apologised for C3PO in private.


My Way or the Highway

One day I suggested making online friends with other forums and perhaps sharing members and ideas. C3PO openly ridiculed my idea as 'fantasy' - because apparently forums didn't like sharing members.

One poster S had views which were politically at odds with C3PO's, but we were very tolerant of his views because we wanted a spread of views on ForumXYZ. Until he posted some rather biased articles - then C3PO posted another rant about this being a dangerous threat to the community. He left. C3PO pointed out he had broken the rule on 'Biased Web-Sites'. No-one but me seemed to notice there was no such rule on the books.


(Don't) Boot Her

One popular and talkative member M (and her friend L) increasingly clashed with C3PO - and eventually there was a chat session in which the two friends apparently went too far in joking with a member - who then complained.

C3PO raved to me at length at how these two friends were secretly working together to destroy her grand vision for ForumXYZ. She clearly wanted them gone ASAP - I tried to calm her, and recommended just a warning, as another mod did too.

But next day we found that member M had been summarily booted - apparently by the tech guy B, although it was never made clear exactly what happened. (Her friend L was soon booted too.)

C3PO boasted how this was a shining example of ForumXYZ's collegial decision-making - when the college had actually voted AGAINST booting M, yet she was arbitrarily booted anyway !


Update: Together Again

Recently however, M and L have been allowed back in to ForumXYZ. Apparently it was all B's fault, the complaints were lies, and C3PO was just mislead. It seems C3PO's fears of M&L's conspiracy to ruin the forum have subsided.

Further Update: A final kick-in-the-guts

More recently, I spoke to M, who now believes R2D2's view, and supports my ban from ForumXYZ ('we must support his decision') and does not want this story to be known. The Palestine thread in question has now been deleted. M finished off by telling me some very personal news which clearly implied that I should not contact her. I never heard from her again. It seems the price of being in C3PO's gang is to believe what C3PO and R2D2 believe. Having observed C3PO throw several people to the wolves in the short time I knew her, one might suspect the lies included the following : 1) Kapyong was a threat to the ForumXYZ community, 2) Kapyong did something inaproppriate sexually, 3) Kapyong was bad at his job, 4) Kapyong is on bad drugs. All false of course.


No-one Person can Boot

One of the annoyances of the other forum was when the corrupt moderator there arbitrarily booted a member for little reason. This member was smart, talkative, popular, and opinionated - so naturally had clashed with the moderators, as many of us did. One day she was just gone - apparently booted simply because the mod didn't want her there. So one of the principles of ForumXYZ was that no one person would make important decisions - liking booting members.

As it turns out - I have become friends with that person, and she joined with us in starting up ForumXYZ. In fact this person is our booted member M ! The very person who was summarily booted from the other forum, who joined our new forum with new principles, was then summarily booted from ForumXYZ - exactly like the last forum. (And then later re-admitted, exactly like the last forum.)


Health Reasons

One day I found out that the technician B had suddenly resigned for 'health reasons'. But soon C3PO explained the real reason - well, she gave FIVE reasons in total :

  1. In-appropriate chat behaviour (which sounded minor)
  2. A personal issue (essentially private and irrelevant)
  3. An in-appropriate personal comment
  4. Using the F word
  5. Professional issues

I have no idea of the truth of what really happened. B never responded to my friendly messages. My suggestion of forgiveness for B was rejected by C3PO with a harsh 'forgiveness is not the issue.'


The Thermo-nuclear Thread

Early on, I had started a thread on a most controversial issue which I strongly feel deserves attention, and which I thought would be a good example for showing the principles of Truth, Justice and Equality. I made sure to let C3PO know beforehand.

I found myself arguing with a member I'll call R2D2 - who was a friend of C3PO's and also one of the moderators. R2D2 presented the standard propaganda view, (she also falsely accused me of mis-representation, and even tried to drop the silly old 'conspiracy theory' bomb) so I carefully responded with facts and logic. But R2D2 became busy and left the thread for a while.



C3PO went on holidays and left ForumXYZ in the hands of us mods - including myself and R2D2. During C3PO's holidays, R2D2 chose to return to the thermo-nuclear thread, and posted the standard propaganda view - again - ignoring my arguments. I carefully and politely pointed out that I had already responded to that standard propaganda view ("I too already answered your response above, but you seem to have overlooked it.")

Incredibly - R2D2 ignored my arguments - again - and falsely and personally abused me for ignoring her arguments ! ("Kapyong, I can only think about two case scenarios...First one...you are not reading my posts Second one...you are reading my posts but you are fallowing your train of thoughts and don't understand what I say. Which one is it?")

I continued to calmly explain how the facts were very different to the propaganda. R2D2 ignored everything I said, ignored other member's comments also, and ramped up the propaganda to the point of outright violent racist bigotry - in which the massacre of thousands of a down-trodden minority group, even civilians, and the erasing and gobbling up of an entire country - is really the victim's own fault ! Then she left. Her posts are still there now - like a great steaming turd in the middle of the white shag-pile carpet. To this day I don't think C3PO has ever read that thread.


Poison Pen

I was so shocked at the racist bigotry R2D2 had posted, that I felt I had to mention it to C3PO on holidays - who simply told me to sort it out with R2D2.

Finding that I had contacted C3PO, R2D2 then started personally abusing me in private messages - I was 'arrogant', an 'arsehole', I was 'on bad drugs'.

I continued to politely argue the facts, while R2D2 continued to ignore them and abuse me personally. To this day, I don't think C3PO has ever read R2D2's personal abuse to me.


Crazy Stuff

The thing is - I am smart, literate, and well practiced at online debate, so I know exactly how to debate the issues, and not the person. I very carefully stayed on the point, argued with facts and logic and rhetoric, never once abusing R2D2 personally.

As I wasn't breaking any rules, I was just accused of crazy nonsense -

I said "Please come to your senses", which is entirely standard debate rhetoric which essentially means "you're normally sensible, but this view isn't - please change your mind". Yet I was accused of calling R2D2 "insane".

I said "Please change your mind, or resign as mod", which is standard rhetoric meaning "this view is not suitable for a mod - please change your mind". Yet I was accused of "demanding she resign".

R2D2 showed no understanding of what was required in a moderator, and no committment to Truth, Justice and Equality.


Indispensable. Untouchable. Unaccountable.

C3PO finally stepped in and made it very clear : her friend R2D2 was Indispensable. C3PO's culture required total obedience to the master. I must pull my head in.

So I did - I stopped, I backed down, I explained myself and apologised. All good, I thought.

No, not all good - I stopped, but R2D2 didn't - she continued to abuse me in PMs, so I defended myself against her personal abuse with the facts and logic. 


"You May Go Kapyong"

R2D2 got more and more angry and abusive in her PMs. One day I wrote a response (strictly the facts, nothing personal, as always) and then popped into chat - to see R2D2 there. She awkwardly excused herself to do some other work, which meant reading my latest post. I waited in trepidation for her return.

Sure enough, she returned and rudely commanded : "you may go kapyong". I said I would stay.

She then summarily demoted me from moderator. I replied that no one person had that power (hahaha.) But she then told me off for discussing moderating in public chat ! Something SHE started - in an empty chat room !

Her parting words were : "have a nice life" - which of course means she will never ever speak to me again.


ForumXYZ shuts down. No, wait !

Shortly afterwards, C3PO announced that ForumXYZ was to be shut down. Apparently R2D2 had quit as moderator.

But no ! The announcement disappeared. ForumXYZ rose from the dead - without the Indispensable R2D2.


The Great Work

I knew things were still bad - terribly bad. In fact I fell into a crushing despair over what I knew was coming. I literally wept long and hard.Yet strangely, my amazing roller-coaster journey from the heights of intense loving friendship to the horrible despair of great loss worked a great change in my soul. Most amazing.

But in my despair I imagined it was all my fault of course, and I genuinely apologized to C3PO, and R2D2. I imagined forgiveness and apologies all 'round, followed by reconciliation and growth. You know - like how reasonable adults normally do it.

I expressed my continued support for the forum and the leadership, and continued to contribute. I told C3PO how strongly I felt for her in terms of loving friendship - nothing in-appropriate of course, her being married - I described her like a friend of many lifetimes, or a spiritual sister.


Anger and Hate

Tragically - C3PO's response boiled down to her two key words : 'angry' and 'hate'. That hurt.

R2D2 told me she "knew what I was up to", that my "so-called friends were talking about me behind my back", and that my "days were numbered" at ForumXYZ.

I knew what was coming. I dreamed of being sacrificed for gold by an angry woman. The ban came through that very next morning.

I was a terrible threat to ForumXYZ - I had nearly totally destroyed it, apparently. My 1% ownership disappeared.


Hero to Zero

From 'dearest friend' to total ban in one fell swoop.

No warning. No discussion. At least not with me. C3PO said she discussed it with her husband - the single most biased person on the planet when it comes to supporting her.

C3PO didn't care about R2D2's racist and bigoted posts, her personal abuse in threads and private messages, her falsehoods and mis-representations, her unilateral rule-breaking.

C3PO didn't care that I had the facts on my side, that I had not broken any rules, that I had championed Truth, Justice and Equality.

All that mattered was that I had committed a terrible cardinal sin : I dared to challenge her leadership.

I was the Nail that Stood Out, so I got Hammered Down - as the saying goes. Her final words were "Do not write me again." After waiting two months, I reached out a friendly hand to C3PO - she bit it right off.


Truth, Justice and Equality

I helped form ForumXYZ with stars in my eyes about Truth, Justice and Equality - these are not idle words to me, but principles to live by. My friends know me as personally honest and truthful and committed to spreading accurate information - which my many posts online as Kapyong will attest.

I have spoken out in support of LGBTIs and children and Aborigines and blacks and gypsys and migrants and refugees and Buddhists and Muslims and Sikhs and Bahai and veterans and homeless and more - even drug addicts and Satanists (in certain specific limited contexts of course.) I have criticised the govts and/or policies of the US and the UK and Australia and China and Germany and Japan and Iran and Qatar and Saudi Arabia and Russia and Thailand and many more.

I thought I was helping found a humane and decent new community which would champion causes such as Black Lives Matter and Marriage Equality and Gender Equality, which would be as tolerant of Muslims or Buddhists or atheists as of Christians, which would be compassionate towards refugees and all the down-trodden minorities, and which might even include some LGBTIs and blacks and others.


The Sacred Cow of our Times

I especially wanted to inform people about the facts behind the Sacred Cow of our times. A subject so controversial that many forums simply ban discussion of it outright. A subject where the reality is VASTLY different to the myth presented on our screens.

About one country that is above criticism. One country that is always right. One country that is always the Good Guy on our propaganda screens. One country that has politically captured the USA and is perenially protected in the UN. A country with a strangle-hold on mainstream media. A country shielded by the guilt of Holocaustianity.


Even daring to criticise Israel risks you being tarred as 'anti-semitic' - because criticising Israel is so bad, it needs its own word.

When the powerful and high-tech Israeli Army invaded the ghetto of Gaza in 2014 with their Merkava tanks, F-16 attack jets, Apache attack helicopters, 155mm artillery with illegal white phosphorous shells, drones, and all sorts of advanced weaponry the US gives them to the tune of three billion a year - they massacred over two thousand Gazans - mostly civilians; destroyed 10,000 homes and damaged about 90,000; and permanently disabled about 300 children.

Israel called it just retaliation for THREE Israelis killed. They openly call these regular massacres "mowing the grass".


War is Peace, Ignorance is Strength, Freedom is Slavery

R2D2 actually blamed those massacred Palestinians for their own deaths - because they voted for Hamas ("because they were so dumb ''to elect'' a terrorist organization thinking they will be able to stop the killing."). When Israel demolishes Palestinian homes in illegal collective punishment - R2D2 says it's their own fault ("Palestinians are destroying Palestinians homes and infrastructures because instead of having the security and safety of Palestinians people as a priority, they take them as human shields and deliberately use them to try to deter Israel from attacking the targets".)

That is the central myth of the Sacred Cow - that plucky little democratic good-guy Israel is always just defending themselves, but the evil Palestinians are always attacking first, always unprovoked. Like R2D2 wrote : "They are the ones doing the 'hitting first' and Israel has every right to defend itself." I wonder why R2D2 added quotes around 'hitting first' ?

Israel is actively erasing and gobbling up Palestine, it is nearly 80% gone already. Israel is massacring many more Palestinians than Israelis are being killed. Israeli snipers murder Palestinian woman and children with impunity. Palestine is actually fighting for its very existence against a mighty invader Israel who is under no threat at all.

But it's all their own fault according to rusted-on pro-Israelis like R2D2 who wrote : "Palestinians hate the Jews, never liked the idea that the UN put the Jews in that area and they will not rest until all the Jews are gone or dead. They just want an excuse to murder Jews so they can please Allah, well I think they are messing with the wrong people. It's not for land, it's for HATE."

R2D2 does not even seem to realise that she is expressing murderous hate for all the Palestinians because she believes they all feel murderous hate for all Jews.


The End

So, I stood up for Truth, Justice and Equality for the down-trodden Palestinians whose whole country is being erased.

While R2D2 defended the Israeli massacres of thousands, the illegal demolishing of houses, the murderous sniping of civilians, and the total erasing of Palestine.

And my beloved friend C3PO ?

She manipulated and betrayed me.

C3PO chose her friend's racism and bigotry and lies and rule-breaking over my Truth, Justice and Equality.

How sad.



by Kapyong

April 2016


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